2014 – To Infinity and Beyond

What do I want to do in 2014? So much. I’m going to put it out here for you and the Universe to see. This will help me stay on track and accomplish more.

  1. Yoga teacher training! I want to be a yoga teacher. My long term goal is to become a yoga therapist like the AMAZING Lilith from Yoga Is My Health Insurance. She has helped my healing more than traditional medicine ever could. I want to be able to help others the same way she’s helped me.
  2. Ayurveda advisor! This ancient lifestyle technology is so powerful and can help everyone to take control of their health and wellness. I’ve been inspired by one of my very first and favorite gurus, Pam of Elemental Om in Lebanon and Montgomery. Her knowledge and passion has improved my life tremendously and I want to learn it all so I can confidently share and help others.
  3. Many years ago, I wanted to be an esthetician and makeup artist. My friends Robin Mallery and Colleen Herman have deepened this desire in me because first and foremost both would tell you what they do is to bring the natural beauty you have inside you OUT. They are both such beautiful women on the inside that it’s no wonder they’re so gorgeous on the outside. Beauty isn’t vanity. Beauty is an outer expression of love (self-love and love for others). I do hope I can go to esthetician school someday.
  4. Find a career and a company where I can grow, inspire and be successful. My first interview of 2014 is tomorrow. It’s an amazing company where I think I could bring a lot to their team and they could teach me.
  5. I MISS my Z girls. 2014 is the year I get back to Dare 2 Dance in Blue Ash and all of my supportive Zumba friends to shake my booty and get rid of this tire around my middle. They don’t call me middle aged because I’m in the middle years of my life but because I have a spare tire around my middle. Love you Buddha belly but I’m going to dance you away!
  6. Sage – you are inspiring me so much to delve more into the spiritual path.  I don’t know quite where that’s going to take me or where you might take me but I’m handing you the keys this year. I look forward to continuing our friendship and path together.
  7. I strive daily to be the best girlfriend and partner to my amazing G that I can be. Every day, I’m humbled by your love and support. I want to continue to grow with you and support you in all the ways you need. I love you!
  8. I want to get more involved to heal the planet and help animals in need. I don’t know yet what this is but it’s something I feel strongly about. So I’m leaving it up to you, Creator, to help me achieve this.
  9. One of my long time goals, that I will accomplish, is to write a book. I got back on the writing kick in 2012 but got off track in 2013. So, I’m jumping back on the track in 2014. And I know my amazingly talented friend Marisa B. will be a great resource to keep me motivated and accountable! Mostly accountable because without knowing I have to have words for you keeps me honest and the TV off.
  10. Back in the saddle – literally. I miss horseback riding. Now, I’m not sure what my neurosurgeon would say about this but hey, I figure my neck is now titanium. It’s not going to break.

 

I have more things I want to do this year, like starting an outdoor garden and finishing up my kitchen. But I thought 10 was a good number to really focus on for 2014.

 

I’d LOVE to hear what you want to do this year. And as always, if I can help,  let me know.

Thursday’s Power Thoughts

I’ve had an amazing week. I’ve engaged with several new communities of people who have inspired and supported me. I asked the Universe to help me find the resources and teachers I needed to advance my journey of making 2014 the BEST YEAR EVER and wow – the Universe brought so many to me so quickly. It’s not even February and I feel like I’m on a great path to manifesting all of my dreams for 2014.

Sage, Colleen, Cassie, Jordan, Erin, Ari, Ray and everyone else I met at Infusion Cincinnati, Goddess Circle and Sage’s workshop on Sunday – thank you all for hearing my story and supporting me. At these three meetings, I met and spoke with more than 30 people who want to make our community a better place by serving and helping others. Not a single person’s goal was to live in a 22 room estate in Indian Hill or drive a Maserati. Everyone who spoke wanted to help others and our city by sharing their talents, music, healing, writing, counseling and even physical labor.

I had so many wonderful healers offer me consultations and treatment this week at a reduced or even no cost. But I know they do this to make a living and I want to give back to them. So I am starting to do marketing services to “pay” them in return. There are more ways than just money to compensate someone for their services and time. Keep this in mind when you have limiting thoughts of “I’d love to do this but I can’t afford it.” This is also why it’s great to choose locally-owned, small businesses instead of large, national chains.

Finally, there is a great power in speaking your truth, sharing your story. That’s why I do this blog and why I talk about things such as my surgery. I want you to learn from my journey because my journey is your journey. I might not understand your pain, but I understand pain. I might not understand your fears, but I understand my own fear. I might not understand your anger, but I understand anger.

Talking about pain, fear, anger – whatever you’re a slave to, whatever is holding you back, is hard but when you open up and express your emotions, your feelings, the power is in YOUR hands – not the emotion. Talking about my surgery takes away the power it has in my life. Keeping silent continues to give your power away. I am always so surprised at how supportive people are too when they hear me speak. You all give me so much love and support that I want to keep sharing with you. I hope by hearing my journey, you will realize you’re not alone.

So what are my Power Thoughts for this Thursday:

  1. Help is always there if you can ask for it – ask God, ask your friends, ask your family. Ask and be open to all of the teachers who come into your lives.
  2. Money is not the only currency available to us. You have many skills that could help others who in return have products/services that you need. Be willing to give to others and you’ll be surprised at how much you receive.
  3. Speak your truth. Always. Silencing your voice hurts you physically and mentally. Speaking your truth gives YOU the power.

So friends, what is it that inspires you?

What do you want from 2014?

What can I do to help you?

Let’s make it happen – life is too short not to wear fabulous shoes or eat dessert.

Much love to you all!

2013 – The Year of Yes that Really IS My Neck

yes this really is my neck

yes this really is my neck

This is the time of year when many of us like to review the past year and take stock of where we’ve been and where we’re going. Then we get depressed, drink a bottle of wine and call it a day. Ha!

I wanted to share with you my journey of 2013, not because it was the best year ever – it wasn’t. It was probably one of my worst years, which is why it’s important to share. I am hoping that by knowing about my journey, it might help one of you with yours. This crazy planet provides us all with lessons to learn. It’s like one big petri dish of spiritual growth opportunities.

My plans for 2013 were to build off of the great momentum I achieved in 2012. I lost a lot of weight, more than 40 pounds, and started dating a wonderful man, G, who I am still dating. Thank you baby!

But the Universe had another plan in store for me and as it often happens, it had to use pain – both physical and emotional – to drive me to where I needed to be to move along in my growth. As winter turned into spring, the pain in my neck, the home of the throat chakra, became worse. I was getting terrible headaches, numbness in both of my hands, sharp & shooting pain in both of my arms and was having a very difficult time concentrating and even speaking. In addition to the severe spinal stenosis I suffered from, my neurosurgeon diagnosed me with a very rare disease called OPLL. It’s so rare in fact that the National Institute of Health (NIH) has it listed as a rare disease, meaning fewer than 200,000 people in the US have this condition. I’d like to post a link to this but WordPress is not playing nicely, so here is the link: http://www.rightdiagnosis.com/medical/opll.htm.

In September, I had a 6+ hour long surgery to rebuild my neck. I had 4 procedures done during that one surgery, including C5-6 corpectomy, anterior fusion of C3-4, laminectomy and mass lateral fusion of C3-7. I now have 14 screws, 2 rods, and a metal plate holding my neck together. The titanium in my neck is worth more than my overall net worth. The first night after this lengthy procedure I spent in the most excruciating pain of my entire life because I didn’t receive the pain pump that was ordered in my record. Apparently, I found out 2 days later, there had been a death on my floor and everyone was busy with that patient. I went from approximately 11 PM to 8 AM, without adequate pain medication  despite the order for the pain pump in my record. When my surgeon’s resident came in to check on me and found me with bloody palms from digging my nails into my hands and crying hysterically, the nurse finally gave me a shot of morphine and hooked up my pain pump.

Next, I was diagnosed with a condition called C5 Palsy, extreme weakness in the deltoid, bicep and/or tricep, in my right arm – the dominant one of course. This condition prompted my surgeon to consider doing a second surgery, which I eventually talked him out of doing. I told him unless he could find concrete proof, through MRI or CT Scan that this weakness was being caused from something other than C5 palsy, that I wasn’t going to agree to a second, exploratory procedure. After my first round of inadequate pain management, I was NOT going to allow this to happen again. I seriously think I have PTSD of surgery. I’m afraid now to even go to the dentist to get a cavity filled.

So I went home with a neck brace, 2 different pain prescriptions and no working right arm. Luckily, I had the help and support of many wonderful friends and family to get me through this. A few weeks after my surgery, I was diagnosed with depression, which is common after a massive surgical procedure. Apparently telling your PCP that you’re upset because you can’t even kill yourself because your stupid dominant arm isn’t working is cause for alarm and an anti-depressant instead of a testimony to my remarkably dark sense of humor.

In the first 6 weeks following my surgery, because this was not enough to prepare me for 2014 according to the Universe, I found out that my very estranged father died and that I would lose my job at year’s end. Combine this with the fact that my greatest source of support, my BF, is in the military, stationed 5 hours away from me, my whole world literally came crashing down on me.

But you know what, I AM STILL HERE. I am here to share my story with you, to hopefully inspire you. Sometimes life really sucks. And it’s OK to get mad at God, Creator, Goddess, whatever you call the Divine Spirit or Divine Order in the world. Trust me, I’m still grumbling to Creator about my right arm, like when I drop a heavy skillet on my foot because my nerves decide to spasm at that moment I’m washing it. I really do need a dishwasher.

I don’t think it’s coincidence that all of this happened now. I was in a place in my life where I wanted more but my forward momentum had stopped. I was stuck in a rut which happens to so many of us. I also was not voicing and/or expressing my needs, my truth, my desires. I really had shut up my voice, which is why I believe this manifested as pain in my neck, home of my vocal cords and throat chakra.

So how have I made it through? With the support of so many wonderful friends, too many to name here, but I hope to thank you all through some gesture soon. Also through the lessons I’ve learned from Yoga, most importantly self compassion and letting go.

I’m a big WHY person. I kept asking God “why me?” What have I done to deserve this suffering? Well, I haven’t learned the lessons the Universe needed me to learn so I could achieve greatness in 2014. And that’s exactly what I plan to do. This blog is just one of MANY plans I am making to make 2014 the best year ever for me. At least until 2015, because I want every year to be better than the last.

Thank you again all for your support. Sending you all love and light.

Namaste- Kris

I’m Back

I’m back – well, blogging that is.  I missed you!

No one lives in a vacuum and no one is as put together or as sane as you might think they are. I’m hoping that by sharing my journey, what I’ve learned from MANY great gurus and my experiences, along with some craziness; we can ALL achieve the joy and health we deserve.

What are we going to share on this blog space? Lots of information that is meant to help each of you on your journey on this planet. It is NOT intended to replace medical advice. I’m no expert. I’m just a girl trying to find her way through this crazy maze. So as always, please listen to your physician/healthcare provider first and foremost.

So take what makes sense to you. And remind yourself that I’m bat-poo crazy on what doesn’t resonate with you. Most importantly, please SHARE what you’ve experienced here and know that you can do so without being judged or mocked.

Let’s all make 2014 the best year ever!

Namaste –
Kris