Today was kind of a crazy day. We all have them, one step forward, two steps back. Actually, it started last night.
Yesterday evening, I had a job interview with Company X and I didn’t have a great feeling about it. I left with more questions than answers. I also left feeling like the whole process was moving too quickly. Job interviews where you have to sit through an hour long sales pitch remind me of the “free” vacations you win if you listen to the hour long time share proposal.
I drove home with an upset stomach. Talking to my awesome BF after the interview, he could tell something was wrong. He’s smart that way and very supportive.
It was such a drastic change from how I felt on Tuesday, when I was in my zone, being productive and accomplishing new challenges. Confident, productive Kris was replaced by a Kris who was hesitant and fearful. In addition to the stomach pain, I could feel my neck incisions and my shoulders tightening up. It felt similar to the pain I felt for months after my surgery.
Driving back up today for my second interview, I still had that resistance in my gut. My neck ached so much, I had to get out my heating pad which I had put away three weeks ago.
I tried to tell myself to be open and think of the positive outcomes of this job. I tried to psych myself up and believe this would be a great opportunity.
During the half hour drive up there, I asked God to give me a sign. Is this the job I’m meant to have or is there something better, like the first interview I had with another company last week?
I pulled in the parking lot. Going over all of the positive possible outcomes of this job. “Yay – this job would be great,” I told myself.
Then my cell phone rang. It was a person from the first company, Company Y. She wanted me to come back for a second interview. Now that position I was EXCITED about. Minutes before I was supposed to walk into Company X, Company Y called me. That couldn’t be a coincidence.
I was so happy to get her call, I almost did the Snoopy dance in Company X’s parking lot, but it was icy and I had heels on. Seriously, doing the Snoopy dance is hard enough without heels and ice.
More exciting to me was that I got my sign. In hindsight, I got a lot of them: upset stomach, tense shoulders/neck, sadness and my phone call. But, I needed all of my signs because I’m still learning to trust my own inner voice. I’m pretty new to this thing called Faith, it’s reassuring to get that phone call from God or Company Y to back up my body’s signs.
Anyone can be faithful during the good times. That’s no challenge. Being faithful during the crappy times is hard. Trusting when things seem to the contrary goes against my nature as a somewhat rational being. But spiritual growth comes from the bad times, the hard times, times when things don’t go your way.
My life has changed so much during the past 18 months – the past four months particularly. But I’m learning so many lessons. So I am grateful to the lessons. I am grateful for my teachers. I am grateful to God for responding to my call to action and so promptly too!
Maybe the Universe has always responded promptly to my prayers but I’ve been too blinded or without faith to see it.
Getting in my car after the interview, my decision was made and I felt at ease. My stomach pain went away. My shoulders relaxed. My neck incisions are still a little tight but I think that’s from the cold weather. There is a lot of metal in a small area – I get colder easier than what I used to.
My lesson for the day is to take a page from Leroy Jethro Gibbs and listen to my gut. Trust my gut and know that God does in fact give me the signs, if I can believe enough in them to see them, like Tinkerbell. I’m just all over the map in imagery tonight. Another sign that my creativity is back and I’m making the right decision.
I hope my interview with Company Y goes well next Monday. I’d love to be able to share with you all that I am its newest associate. But if I am not, I know that it’s because the Universe has something even better in store for me.
And this my friends is what Snoopy, Gibbs and Tinkerbell have to do with my lesson of Faith.